Friends In Low Places

Over the weekend I had a few of my friends come out to the farm and bring the whole Kit and Caboodle with them (you know ~  husbands, the kids, the dogs, food, beer, crafts...). What a great weekend it was! I wish I had the White House sitting here on the land so I could house each one of my treasured friends and their great families. If you can dream you might as well dream BIG, right?!
   
As I sit here in my empty house with my kids and husband passed out from all the fun, I am a little lonely. I am missing the laughter, the kids screaming, all the dogs running in and out of the house, our sweet hubbies grilling out back and all the rest of the warmth that comes from having good friends. I walked through my house and hardly had anything to do because they left me with only a few sheets and some towels to wash. What precious people. I almost wish there was more to do so I wouldn't be so sad that they had to go! I am such a social butterfly and living out here in the sticks makes it hard to fill my cup with what I get from being with my friends.

Friends are my treasures. I am an only child and I guess, because of that, I treasure my friends like I would a sibling. That may not make sense to some, but it does to me.  I am so blessed with an abundance of amazing friends in my life. Each of them are unique and special. One may be so talented it oozes out of her skin. One may have a unique gift at seeing past the negative and only finding the good. One may be that mom you just wish you could be. One may be a rare treasure that makes you laugh and cry at the same time. One may just be that one that you can drive in the car with for hours and you don't  have to talk because you are OK with the silence. Each couple has such great qualities too. The husbands that we have are truly a gift from God and a rare find. Every spouse gives 100 percent of themselves to the other. Not just 50/50. We are not judgemental of one another. We mind our own business when it comes to each other's differences in how we are in our family units. Not everyone disciplines the same, not everyone is at the same place in their marriage. Some have been together since high school and some have not. We respect each other and that is that. We don't care who has what or who might be able to do more than the other this year. We don't care if some of us went one place and we didn't get to go. We just want each other to be happy, and at peace. We want each other's children to be healthy and safe and successful. We want the best for each other. If we are in low places then we are there to bring each other up. It may be with a beer and a laugh, but we get the job done. We support each other in our business endeavors and anything we set out to do that improves our lives. That is what amazing friends I have.
  
I hope when my friends leave my space they think happy thoughts of me, my husband and our children as we do of them. I hope they feel as at home in my house as they do in their own. I hope their bellies are full and their spirits are lifted after leaving here. That is how Mama Mary raised me to be. Lift others up when they are with you, make them feel at home, have a servants heart.

Friends are a gift and we have to treasure them. We have to accept the good, the bad and the ugly in each other. We have to make each other better. That is what "friend" means to me. So even though I am lonely and a bit sad this afternoon, I'll take it, because it makes me treasure the times when I get to be in their space.

I hope you have good friends. I hope you treasure them and they treasure you. They are hard to find.  When you do, hold on tight and DON'T LET GO!!!

Purging, Swearing and other thoughts...

I have been a mad woman cleaning out and purging over the last couple of weeks! I think it's so interesting how much stuff piles up. Over the last two years I have been doing good at getting rid of my family's and my excess crap, but I have also been taking care of my now two year old. Needless to say I wasn't as on top of it as I should be.

As you can probably figure out, I do like to collects things. I love antiques and vintage things and finding them for my house, but my problem is I LOVE EVERYTHING!! I just don't have the room for it though. They say if you haven't used it or wore it in the last year, to get rid of it. I can't seem to do that with everything! Who is "they" anyway?! I haven't used my china in almost 15 years of marriage but I'm certainly not getting rid of it! (note to self: use china more this year).

I have started going through each room of my house and if we didn't really use it or love it I passed it on to someone else who might really use it or love it. Yes, that even means my kids' toys. Sometimes too much is not a good thing! Now I do have a few more "things" in my house than some of my girlfriends, but a little "clutter" make me feel at home!

My office was a chore because I share it with my husband and we run his businesses and my two businesses out of the same area in our old farm house. And let me tell you, HE IS A PACK RAT!! He doesn't throw anything away! Usually, those that keep things don't file they pile! I was absolutely at my wits end! So I forced him to sit with me and organize and file. It was painful but it is done and we both feel better! If I didn't care he'd probably be a hoarder! His arguments are "it's good", "we can use that", "are you crazy? that's important"! All of which holds no water when I find shorts stuffed in hidden areas of my closet, because they had a huge rip and can't be worn any more. To this I say, "You need therapy. Something is wrong with you. I love ya, but there are meds for that!". I about had a come apart!

On the closet subject. My side was great. I have it just how I want it (well, it's not Christina Aguilera's or Mariah Carey's but I will get there one day). But my husband's side was an absolute mess. So while he was out I PURGED! I know you probably think I'm as mean as all get out, but a stuffer and piler like him won't even know what's gone. Now when it comes to all his hunting and fishing stuff, I know where to draw the line! I wouldn't dare. But shirts, socks, old jeans. and such, you bet I do! I also came to the conclusion it is just not in him to purge, organize, and keep it that way so if I want it to stay that way I had better be the one to do it. And not be mad at him for it! (I am working on that.)

One of the major purges I did was letting go of the different clothes for different weights in my life!  I got rid of all of them. I decided that keeping them was giving myself permission to gain the weight I've lost back, so out the door they went.  Now when it comes to hats, bags, jewelry, and other things I tend to be like my husband. I may not wear my Black Derby hat this year, but it may be perfect with my dress next year! Is this a double standard I ask myself? My answer is no, it is my standard!

While I was cleaning, washing the outside and inside of my house, removing cob webs, and letting go of "stuff", I started thinking about the "rooms in my life". Was I cleaning those as well as I was the rooms in my house? Well, it depends. I got determined to "clean my weight room" and I lost the extra 30 pounds I was being too lazy to let go of. But there are other things the verdict is still out on. I don't want to be nice to the girl at Cache. She is rude, hateful and just works there!!!! Didn't she learn anything from watching Pretty Woman?! I don't want to listen to my preacher tell me not to swear! I LIKE TO SWEAR!!! I don't want to say I'm sorry for not keeping your side of the closet nice and only mine and our children's. I am mad at you for not having that characteristic!!!! LOL! I don't want to get up early and exercise. I like to sleep in.

Yes, these are some of my "rooms". I will be nice to the girl at Cache because hurting people hurts and I don't know what's going on behind her closed doors. I will stop swearing because I don't want my boys to be swearers. I will tell my Esposo I am sorry for not taking care of his side of the closet. It is the least I can do for all the **it he does for me :)! I will get back into my exercise routine. I feel better, act better and certainly look better when I do!

How about you? Have you done your spring purging/cleaning? Does your house look the way you'd want it to if the Pope stopped by? Or does it look like a lazy, unclean person or family live there? Are you holding onto things you don't really need? Like weight or bad eating habits? It is one thing to be on meds or have a genetic disorder that keeps you from being where you want to be, but if that is not the case, and you are just being lazy then STOP IT! Do it for yourself and for your family. Heart attacks are the #1 killer in women and it doesn't discriminate age. Do you have friends and family (lol! not family you are stuck with them!) that you need to purge? Do they drag you down?  Do your friends need to purge you? Are you the one that drags them down? I believe part of the reason I finally got rid of my weight is because I allowed myself to get out there and be with my friends. I was staying at home and not taking care of me. But being with them helped me get back to me!!! They make me better! I sure hope I do the same for them!

Are you beating yourself up over something that doesn't even matter? Are you the girl we all wish we could look like but yet you think your ugly, fat, etc? Do you expect perfection and those around you can't meet your too high expectations? Do you gossip in front of your kids so they will become gossipers? Do you text and drive so they will text and drive? Do you drink and drive so they will drink and drive? Do you come home and pay attention to your spouse and children or do you go do your thing? What are your "rooms"?

I want every BARBEE out there to be the best that you can be! Be Loud and Proud and Stand Out in the Crowd! You can do anything you set your heart and mind to. For some it maybe easier than others, but when you are done IT FEELS SOOOOOO GOOD!!! Now get out there and do it, DAMN IT!! (note to self- NO SWEARING)

xoxo,
Backwuds Barbee